I was walking to the water fountain this afternoon and this idea of “living your truth” popped into my head. Totally random, but not surprising. The best ideas always hit me at the most unexpected times.
What do I mean when I say, “living your truth?” Well let me use myself as an example.
My truth is kindness, happiness, positivity, authenticity, motivation/inspiration, being a light, and keeping it real (as fuck). These are the characteristics I want to embody. These are the things I want to be. These are the traits I want people to speak of when they speak of me.
But am I actively living theses things enough to the point where they are a true part of who I am? Or do I just sometimes talk about them, without living them out to the fullest potential? This is what living your truth is all about.
I think the first step to living your #happiestlife is being real with yourself. Taking a step back, looking in the mirror, and giving yourself a realties check (even if it’s ugly and uncomfortable). When I was asking myself, “Am I living my truth?” the answer was a flat out no, I’m not. And that makes me really sad to be honest. And it makes me a little embarrassed to share it with you all. But I know that the only way to move forward and be better, is to own my faults and turn my flaws into a fine point. Turn it back into a strength.
One of the biggest flaws I’ve noticed in myself over the past few weeks is how easily I get irritated, agitated, or stressed out. Especially at work. I have a “reputation” at work of being this happy, bubbly, positive person. And I know deep down that I am! I know those are the things I want to be known for! But as I’ve taken on more and more responsibility I find myself snapping or being rude with more people, more often.
I am very meticulous and OCD about how I like things done. Which means I am not good at delegating out tasks when I need to. I’d rather do everything myself so that it’s done the way I like, I know it’s done correctly, and so I know it gets done in the first place. This is not a good trait to be practicing when I already have a million other things I need to do as well. Between all the “admin” responsibilities, taking care of 26 other techs, having to deal with any situation that arises, my 4 additional duties, any personal things I have to take care of , and my patient care duties– it leaves very little room for down time and a lot of room for me to stress out!!!
I am very aware that I am not a good multi-tasker and I get over whelmed very easily so it’s not a surprise that every day brings a little anxiety as I make my daily to-do list each morning. because I get stressed out so quickly over simple things, sometimes my positive mentality takes a back seat and mean Marisa comes out. Which I don’t like, at all. I feel like I spend too much time being dismissive, running around like a chicken with my head cut off, or stressing the heck out that I forget to slow down. I forget to check in on my co-workers and make sure they’re doing alright. I forget that I don’t have to do everything on my own, and letting other people help is going to benefit the both of us! And when I forget these things, when I allow these things to push my positivity to the back burner I feel like a phony. I feel like I preach one way and live my life another. And the goal is to have the two be aligned, right?
I have noticed this heavily in my workplace but I’ve also noticed it overflow into my home life. Just ask Andrew, he’ll tell you! (He has been such a trooper on the days I can be super snappy, so shout out to you babe). And I don’t want to get into any of that too much, because honestly this blog post will probably just sound repetitive. But I know what I need to work on. I am aware of my shortcomings.
And although in this moment, I do not feel like I am living my truth. I know what my truth is. I know what I want my truth to be. And I know I have to shed the habits I’ve created in order to make room for the habits I want to incarnate.
Like I said before, the first step is recognizing that there is a problem.
The second step is deciding to do something about it.
The third step is making a plan.
And the fourth step is execution. Putting that plan into action.
And that’s what I plan on doing. And I hope if you are having a hard time living your truth that you decide to make a plan to. I hope you put you’re all into making that plan your reality. (And if you don’t even know what your truth is (and that is totally okay) I hope you sit down with yourself and figure it out.)
I have two major goals that I want to focus on over the next few months but I will only share one with you now;
And that is to be quick to love, and slow to hate.
I know it will not be an overnight fix or an easy change. I know it will take a continuous effort to even keep this goal at the forefront of my mind. But I believe it is a goal worth fighting for.
“Live your life as an example of what you believe.”
I hope to keep the blog updated and come back in a couple of months with a victory story. I guess you’ll have to stay tuned for that! Until then, keep #livingyourhappiestlife.