Walking away from things I can not control is something I am still learning. Today I am sharing how an ‘out-of-my-control’ situation kept me from celebrating an important day. Let me start by giving you a little back story;
Andrew and I got home on Monday morning at 4am after more than 24 hours of traveling. I slept about a total of 2-3 hours on our long flight home followed by little spurts of “resting my eyes” on our four-hour drive home from Dallas. When we arrived home Andrew passed out and I, of course, couldn’t sleep. So I stayed up all day knocking out loads of laundry, dishes, and unpacking. I had plans to hit the gym and grocery shop because we literally had zerooo food.
As the afternoon rolled around I decided I needed to get out and get these things done. I walked to my car, got inside, and my car wouldn’t start. And then my key got stuck in my ignition. Wtf.
I texted Andrew in a panic not knowing what the heck I was gonna do. How could I get my car to the shop if I can’t even get it to start? We knew we had to jump it but I was parked in a parking spot with cars on both sides so there was no way to get Andrew’s car close enough to jump mine. (Mind you, Andrew drove all the way from work during his break to help me) Since there was literally nothing we could do at this point except wait, which is not something I am good at, Andrew went back to work and I kept my eyes peeled praying one of the cars would move so Andrew could park next to me and we could jump my car.
I sat by my window all evening praying my car would be good to go for the morning. How was I gonna get to work? And I had a Leadership/Process Improvement class I was attending so I was already anxious. Anything outside of my normal routine really gets me worked up.
After Andrew told me there wasn’t anything we could do right now I went back inside holding back tears (because I am a baby). Andrew knows me so so well and called me on his way back to work. He asked me, “What would you tell me if it was my car that wouldn’t start?” And I responded, “There is no reason so be upset when it is out of your control.” Which is totally true, and exactly what I would have told him. So he reminded me to relax and stay positive, we would figure it out and it’d all be okay.
That didn’t stop me from throwing myself a pity party. I shed a tear or two, ranted over text message to my sister, and then decided that I had had enough. So took a few deep breaths, put one of my favorite songs on repeat (I Hope You Dance by Lee Ann Womack) and took a long HOT shower.
was feeling much better after I got washed up but there was still a little bitterness lingering. This small amount of bitterness stole the show and kept me from celebrating the fact that I GOT ACCEPTED INTO THE PERFECT SCHOOL FOR MY MAJOR after waiting over two months to hear back! I should have been over the moon!!! And I was very excited (and relieved) but this awesome accomplishment took the back seat while my dead car took the front seat (no pun intended). How shitty!
Andrew drove me to work, my class was fine, and a friend drove me home. Andrew was waiting for me when I got there and we were able to jump my car and get it started! Perfect, all is well! I could finally go grocery shopping and we could stop starving.
Except when I left to go grocery shopping an hour or two later I walked to my car, got inside, and it wouldn’t start. And my key once again got stuck in my ignition.
Me: You’ve got to be shitting me
Me: My car
Key is stuck
I was already freaking out and Andrew calmed my anxiousness once again, honestly shoutout to that boy! Now I’m sitting here drinking coffee at 730pm as my dinner because I’m saving the last bit of chicken we have left for tomorrow’s lunch and laughing at myself.
Am I still irritated my car has apparently quit on me? Yes, absolutely.
Am I annoyed that Andrew will have to take me to work again? Yep.
Am I pissed off that I JUST had my car serviced before we left for Europe and now I’ll probably have to spend MORE money to get it fixed? Hell yes.
I am still an anxious ball of nerves. But instead of letting it affect my entire evening again I am going to drink my coffee, play fetch with Bella, shower, and sleep.
I’ll wake up in the morning and deal with the damage when it arrives. But for now, I’m trying to walk away from the irritation, anger, and bitterness. For it does nothing positive for me.
“As a cure for worrying, work is better than whisky.”
If you are struggling with something that is out of your control, take time to step back and allow the negative emotions to be there. They are valid emotions. But then shake it off, however that looks for you, and press on. You got this.