(originally posted on 26 Oct 2017)
Sometimes you just have to laugh at yourself.
I wanna share two instances with you that have happened to me within the past week.
Two instances that have left me dumbfounded and smiley.
Last week I was walking out to my car with a co-worker. We were pushing a grocery cart (yes, a grocery cart) full of paper shorts. I’m working in a clinic (Reid) across base this month instead of the main hospital and the clinic was out of linen. My co-worker asked me, “Have you seen next month’s schedule?” I replied, “No, I didn’t even know it was out. Do you know where I’ll be??” And he said, “Yeah you’re still at Reid and I’ll be there too”. Already I was a little bummed out, I don’t hate working at Reid but I don’t love it either. Then I asked, “Am I still the Saturday tech?” (Meaning I work Tuesday-Saturday every week) And he said, “Yes.”
This was not good news for me seeing as I have to work every weekend. I was slightly annoyed because there are two long weekends next month and I don’t want to work either of them, especially since I’ve been working weekends since July. But, the more important reason I was upset is because Andrew and I have a trip planned for out-of-state next month and we’ve already got plane tickets. I immediately texted Andrew my complaints wondering how I was going to make our trip next month work. I was literally getting so worked up that I CRIED on my way home!! CRIED! Then I let this speed bump damper my mood for the rest of the day- I didn’t go to the gym, I complained about my sticky situation to Ellie, my mom, and again to Andrew. Andrew assured me things would pan out and we’d be fine. I, of course, didn’t believe it and continued to sulk in my anxiety.
The next day, at the morning meeting, I learned Reid will actually be closed the exact Saturday I need off for our trip (Veterans Day). Andrew was right, things panned out and we’re gonna be fine.
Yesterday I got a call from one of my supervisors around 7:15am and he said, “Hey, don’t you have that training course today?” and my eyes darted to the button right corner of my desktop where the date is and I replied, “Yeah… I’m pretty sure I do. What time is it?” He told me, “I think it’s at 8 so we’ll send someone over to release you.” Okay, cool. For some back knowledge, I HATE being late, I hate not knowing where I’m supposed to go or what I’ll be doing. The unknown makes me incredibly anxious. So, as 7:40 rolled around and nobody had showed up I started to get not only irritated but also super anxious. I was supposed to be there in 20 minutes and I still had to drive across base, find a parking spot, and figure out where this class was being held. Now it’s 7:45 and still nobody is here. I ended up leaving and heading across base before anyone showed up to take my place. Once I finally get to the hospital, where the class is being held, I find out that the class doesn’t start until 8:30am.
Now if you’re reading this and thinking to yourself that these are stupid reasons to get so worked up over, I would agree with you! I DO agree with you. I tend to get anxious and worried and worked up about the silliest things. But that’s just the way I am and that’s okay.
I wanted to write about these two instances because of the way I felt once they were over. Both times I thought to myself, “Wow that was so silly. I don’t understand why I freaked out so much and so quickly.” I couldn’t help but laugh at myself! And it wasn’t a feeling of embarrassment that I felt, but more of a calming peaceful sense. I felt like this was a reality check from the universe saying, “Relax girl, you’re fine. There are more important things going on than your silly, temporary, inconveniences”.
Lucky for me, things worked out in my favor both times. I think this was an important reminder for myself to not sweat the small stuff and that things will always work out in the end. Maybe not exactly how you wanted or pictured, but they will work out.
“When thinking about life remember this; no amount of guilt can resolve the past and no amount of anxiety can change the future.”