(originally posted on 15 Aug 2018)
If you asked me this question 3 years ago my answer would be simple- hell no.
If you asked me this question 2 years ago my answer would be simple- hell no.
Shoot, if you asked me this question 6 months ago my answer would still be hell freakin no!
But if you asked me this question today I would be stumped. Puzzled. Unsure. A little doubtful.
As the school year came to an end a few months ago and everybody was graduating college with their hard-earned degrees in hand, I have to admit, I was slightly envious. Had I gone to college I would be graduating with my degree too. A huge accomplishment under my belt and ready to tackle my next chapter in life head on.
Instead, I carried on with my regular every day routine of work, home, work, home, work. Not that the Air Force hasn’t served me extremely well, because I believe it has. I was just having a few “what if” moments.
But those “what if” moments left just as quickly as the came and my answer became simple again hell no. I’ve always known college was not what I wanted to do or where I wanted to be, so the Air Force was the next best (and honestly, only) option. And it has truly been the best thing for me.
But as the new school year started up I’ve found myself watching video after video of “College Move In Day!!” and I’ve found myself scrolling and scrolling through countless dorm tour photos and that envy is back once again. Except this time it is much much stronger than before. I don’t know if it’s the interior decorator/ OCD organizer in me that’s making me feel this way or the fact that I have been yearning for a major life change to happen or what. But dang I’ve got some mixed emotions.
I keep allowing thoughts of doubts to filter into my mind and then linger for much longer than they should be welcomed.
Thoughts that have never been present in my mind before have been constantly knocking at the door of my brain and I’m left wondering, “Have I missed out on something incredible?”, “Would I have been able to kick college’s ass?” (I have always been too afraid to go to school), “Did I only choose not to attend because of my fears?”, “Would college have been the better option for me?”
These are some pretty scary questions, am I right?!
Deep in my heart I know the truth, college is not where I belong(ed). For so long I was always dead set and planned on never getting a degree. I have an associates because it was a requirement for my job, but I never had ANY interest in earning anything beyond that. I despised the idea actually.
I have always felt extremely lost, completely unsure of where I want to go or what I want to do. I think this is why I have always been so anti college. How am I supposed to earn a degree if I don’t have a fucking clue what I want to study? At the age of 22, I was still stuck in the unknown, just as lost as I was 4 years ago as I walked across the stage and was awarded my high school diploma.
Until recently. Things are finally coming together and my insides are jittery at the thought of finally having a path to follow. It may have taken me many years to get here, but I am so thankful for the journey I’ve been on and all that I’ve learned along the way.
So to answer the question, hell no. I absolutely do not regret skipping out on college. Not 4 years ago and not now.
If you are feeling lost or uncertain or feel like you have to follow a particular path just because that’s society norm, DON’T! Listen to your heart and follow it. Even if it’s scary. Even if it’s risky. Even if it’s absolutely insane. Your heart will take you exactly where you are meant to be. You’ll get there. So keep your head up high, a smile on your face, and keep living your happiest life.